My Heart -TALKING MYSELF INTO RECOVERY #1
TMIr Posts - Part of my Self-Talk Series - TALKING MYSELF INTO RECOVERY. These posts are short affirmations drawn from my personal journals. Where applicable, links to journal entries or original posts from my time in recovery are provided at the bottom of the page.
Today I rise with an open heart.
I will walk soft but purposeful in this world. Vulnerable and open, my heart will guide my interactions, accepting others where they are - not where I want them to be. My heart is kind and understanding and will offer only what it seeks itself - love and kindness. Wise with life experience, my heart will keep with gratitude only what we need to grow and will cast aside that which serves to harm me. My heart is prepared to face the truth of the day before me.
With an open heart, I will give and accept love.
I had lived in constant heartbreak, and the decision to withdraw was a mechanism of self defense. Was it not wiser to keep my heart tightly shut? The possibility of further injury seemed foolish and reckless. I was trying to heal my heart, so why would I chance vulnerability?
I was incapable of love. Unable to give it in an acceptable form often left me feeling rejected. When offered to me, I assumed an ulterior motivation was at play. I could not trust love. Even though my empty heart longed for it, love was dangerous.
I didn’t want to hurt people, but I had. The hurt I caused came back to me. I punished myself for years, banishing myself to a personal purgatory filled with self-hatred and fear.
As I recovered, I learned that to heal my heart required it to be open, and locking it up prevented what it needed to heal itself from getting in.
Check out WITH AN OPEN HEART I RISE from my personal recovery journal - November 2019.
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Disclaimer - I base my articles on my own personal experience as a recovering alcoholic and addict. I share about what has helped me, what I have learned about myself, and are to provide insight into my recovery. I encourage anyone struggling with mental health and addiction challenges to consider talking to a professional clinician. You are worth it.